My Horizontal Life is a book written by comedian and talk-show host Chelsea Handler in which she depicts the misadventures of her life in the form of numerous one-night stands and one too many alcoholic beverages. Chelsea Handler is a woman who refuses to let society define who she is supposed to be, and how she is supposed to act. She swears a lot, loves alcohol, bars, sex and men, lots of them. Chelsea has no problem picking up men in various locations nor does she discriminate; no matter one's ethnicity or height, she is willing to give it a go.
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Chelsea begins this book by talking about her childhood, of her protective Europeran mother; her father who bought and sold cars and who would pile them up in the drivewar; of her five siblings including a Mormon sister; and the first time she and one of her sister saw their parents having sex at 7-year-old. This experience stayed with her and she also started swearing at that time, behaving like an adult - she felt swearing automatically catapulted her in a position of authority and she never let go of that habit.
Chelsea has always been curious with respect to sex and sexual practices, and since she doesn't believe in dating for weeks before the first sexual encounter with a member of the opposite sex - as she thinks sleeping right away is the best way to determine whether two individuals have sexual chemistry - which is mandatory for her - she starts experimenting by sleeping with numerous individuals; some she dates for more than a couple days, some she doesn't. It is following her first sexual encounter at the Jersey Shore, upon her graduation from high school, with a man she dated for eight months afterwards - even though he bored her to death - that she decides that only having one-night stands would be a wiser course of action.
Throughout this hilarious book, Chelsea depicts in every chapter new sexual encounters in details. From a stranger called Turtle, to an encounter with a midget, to a stranger who walked around completely naked except for a leather neck helmet and a black leather holster, Chelsea's atypical stories do not disappoint. Towards the end of the book, and after countless sexual encounters with so many individuals, Chelsea eventually decides to stop having random sexual encounters and decides to act as an adult.
Best part of story, including ending:
This is an incredibly funny book that is 100% uncensored. Chelsea's writing and experiences are presented by holding a "take it or leave it" mentality.
Best scene in story:
When she woke up completely hungover and found a midget in her room, her first thought was: "Did I have a baby?" This is a funny book and Chelsea doesn't take herself seriously.
Opinion about the main character:
She is always intoxicated and cannot enjoy herself unless she is under the influence of alcohol.