Detailed plot synopsis reviews of Dear John |
|---|
John: John is a soldier who falls in love with Savannah. He courts her over several years in a deep, emotional relationship with practically zero sex. Then while he's off killing muslims, Savannah spreads her legs for Tim (see below). Then Tim gets sick. John donates all his money to help Tim get better so he can continue to bone his girlfriend.
Savannah: Savannah is John's girlfriend. She builds houses for poor people. She doesn't like sex, or at least she doesn't like sex with John.
Tim: While John is out killing muslims, Tim swoops in and start boning Savannah. Squirt squirt squirt!
Alan: Alan is Tim's retarded brother. They give him horse rides to cure his brain damage. They think by riding a horse his retarded brain will work better. How retarded is that?
Click here to see the rest of this review
John's Dad: John's dad is another retard. All he can do is talk about his hobby of collecting coins. Seriously. When he gets sick John has to wipe his dad's ass every day and learns to love the smell. Maybe they should have him ride a horse too, heh heh heh.
