Detailed plot synopsis reviews of My Absolute Darling
Turtle: Turtle is a 14 year old girl living by the rural northern California coastline with her pedophile dad Martin. Martin teaches her to shoot a gun and beats her and gives her his large sweaty p_nis at nights. Pow pow pow! Smack smack smack! Squirt squirt squirt! These are the most common sounds you hear in the book. Too much p_nis interferes with Turtle's ability to spell properly in school.
Martin: Martin is Turtle's dad. He loves Turtle very much. In her v_gina. That's the problem. He's also a survivalist gun nut who carries an assault rifle around with him. He beats up Turtle, but sometimes regrets it afterwards.
Grandpa: Grandpa is Martin's dad. When he discovers that Martin is beating Turtle, he dies 30 seconds later.Click here to see the rest of this review
Cayenne: Cayenne is a 9 year old girl who Martin picked up while shopping for fresh v_gina. He uses her for target practice, cuts off one of her fingers, and bones her.
Jacob: Jacob is Turtle's wannabe boyfriend. He's very sensitive.
Anna: Anna is Turtle's teacher. She's very sensitive, and doesn't mind being called a bitch.