Detailed plot synopsis reviews of Not Perfect |
|---|
So instead of talking about it for pages here, I will just mention highlights of the hurt knee subplot.
Tabitha agrees to go to the sperm bank with Rachel to help her find the perfect test tube of sperm to swallow, I mean, to put down there.
Tabitha feeds the kids crackers and vinegar and lima beans for dinner. The kids think she is a retard and they hate her, for good reason.
Tabitha, despite not having enough money for food, goes to a homeless shelter and gives out clothes, why I don't know. We are supposed to think that even when she is struggling to survive, that she is virtuous, like a saint, always thinking of others. But it comes across as ridiculous.
Tabitha also has barely enough money to buy anything, and yet, when she tips people, she tips them with her husband's gold cufflinks. She even hands out the gold cufflinks to homeless people, rather than selling them to buy food. Tabitha is so virtuous. And so unbelievable.
Click here to see the rest of this reviewTabitha feels guilty. Tabitha feels guilty for two reasons:
1) She gave her mother a lot of morphine and then her mother died, and she worried that she might have given her too much.
and
2) Tabitha used to run a food catering business, and some guy with a peanut allergy ate food she made with peanut oil, and Tabitha is not sure if he died or not. When she told Stuart about it, do you know what Stuart did? He made her throw out the peanut oil, to get rid of the evidence, heh heh heh.
Fern needs new sneakers, but Tabitha can't afford them. Fern suffers.
Fern calls Stuart. This surprises Tabitha, because every time she tried to call Stuart she couldn't get through. Stuart thoughtfully gave Fern a special code to get through to him, one Fern could use but Tabitha couldn't. Stuart spoke to Fern on the phone but because listening to their conversation might be interesting, might provoke some drama, we are not allowed to listen in.
Tabitha is angry that Fern got through to Stuart but she couldn't.
Tabitha begins an investigation to figure out why Stuart has left her. The problem is that she already knows, but has not informed the reader.
Stuart left to be with his old girlfriend Abigail.
Tabitha takes Fern to the hospital to look at her knee. While there she steals some turkey sandwiches. I guess she couldn't find anything more useless like salt shakers or hot peppers to steal instead.
Tabitha finds out that Stuart's girlfriend Abigail died a few months ago. She wonders what Stuart is still doing there. Masturbating, probably.
Tabitha visits Nora, the old lady. Tabitha goes to the bathroom and finds a jar full of money and big signs inviting people to take the money. Tabitha cannot believe it but stole a few hundred dollars.
Tabitha goes on a date with Toby and tells him that her husband left her. Toby decides that he has fucked around enough with her and tells Tabitha to go to a hotel with him to he can bone her. Tabitha agrees even though she is a married woman.
Toby bones Tabitha. We get no description of it in this joyless book, we are only vaguely told that it happens.
Can you tell that I do not like this book? You probably don't either, since you haven't read it yourself.
Levi is having his own crisis. He is supposed to do a Bar Mitzvah, the ceremony that Jewish boys do when their p_nises start getting longer with a lot of hair around it, but Levi doesn't want to do it while his dad Stuart is missing.
