Detailed plot synopsis reviews of Not Perfect |
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The Rabbi convinces Levi to do a mini-Bar Mitzvah instead.
Meanwhile Rachel announces she is ready to have random sperm squirted into her vaj.
Tabitha learns that Levi was hit by a bicycle. Levi was chasing a guy who looked like his dad. Levi misses his Dad.
Levi is ok. He has a concussion, but it didn't knock any sense into him.
Tabitha goes back to Nora and steals several thousand dollars from her. She needs money to pay for Fern's knee and Levi's concussion. Then, because she is a saint, she tells Nora she has stolen the money. Nora says that she is fine with that. She has left out money for random people to steal from her.
Just like Tabitha gave away clothes when she was too poor to eat, Nora is another saint in this book, also totally unrealistic. Nora tells Tabitha to steal as much as she likes.
Click here to see the rest of this reviewHow can we enjoy this book when the characters don't act like real people?
Tabitha realizes that Nora is Toby's mother. They all tell each other that they know each other and have a good laugh.
Suddenly, near the end of the book, we get a data dump from Stuart. He's not talking to anybody, we're just reading his thoughts in this very poorly written story. He was originally going to marry Abigail, but she got cancer and so Stuart married Tabitha, even though he didn't enjoy squirting in her v_gina like he did Abigail's. But then Abigail un-got cancer, and Stuart went back to her, but then she got cancer again, and she died, so Stuart, instead of going home, decided to live in her cabin, presumably to masturbate to photos of her.
Tabitha confesses to Toby how she stole money from Nora and how she may have killed her Mom with morphine and some random person with peanut oil.
Toby confesses that his wife divorced him when she caught him boning her cousin. They both feel good confessing this stuff to each other, because, remember, they are really saints.
Stuart returns for Levi's Bar Mitzvah. They have excellent bagels and lox and catch a few episodes of Seinfeld.
Tabitha tells Stuart she wants a divorce.
WHAT????
That's it. That's the entire book. Tabitha has been moaning for 300 pages how she wants Stuart to come home... and then, when he finally, finally does, all she does is divorce him? That's more than a little anti-climactic, don't you think? This author has no sense of how to write drama.
Stuart tells Tabitha that Tabitha did not kill her mother, that Stuart did, purposefully overdosing her morphine because Tabitha's mom was old and suffering or something. This makes Tabitha feel GREAT. She doesn't care that Stuart killed her Mom, she only cares about feeling virtuous, knowing that she wasn't the one to kill her mother. This scene above others makes Tabitha seem more unsympathetic than at any point in the book. That's all she cares about, her own virtue.
Rachel tells Tabitha that she is pregnant from some anonymous sperm. Tabitha is happy her friend is going to raise a child without a Daddy.
Toby finds out that the person who Tabitha thought had died from the peanut oil was alive, so Tabitha has another reason not to feel guilty and another reason to feel more virtuous.
Toby asks Tabitha how he can "pay penance" for sticking his dick into his wife's cousin. Tabitha suggests that Toby work in a soup kitchen, like everyone else in this book as done to feel good about themselves.
And here is the most profound dialogue in this inane book:
Toby: “Giving a homeless person tacos and wings is not going to take away the fact that I slept with my ex-wife’s cousin and ruined our family unit for my daughter.
