Detailed plot synopsis reviews of The Bridal Chair
But most countries, including America, are refusing to accept Jews. Ida put on shirts that revealed her large Russian breasts, hoping it could help her get a visa. But her breasts did not help her this time.
Ida's family gets a farmhouse in rural France where they can hide out if the Nazis invade. Unfortunately they have rented the farmhouse from a guy WHO HATES JEWS. Marc does not see this as a problem. Ida realizes that the farmer would sell them to the Nazi's for a croissant and realizes they have to find somewhere else to hide.
Then Marc does something really dumb--he buys a house, complete with furniture. Ida knows they will have to flee France and so need all their money to be in things they can carry, and that Marc has wasted most of their savings on a home they will have to run away from. This is just one of many ways that Marc, the famous artist, is a big retard.Click here to see the rest of this review
Marc says again that no one will dare arrest him. He's a citizen of France and will be protected. Once again, he is an enormous retard.
The Nazi's invade France. The French army are indeed surrender monkeys, working overtime constructing white flags and running away. Ida's husband Michel was drafted into the French army, and he described how he cowardly played dead while the Germans killed all his friends, and then when they left he ran away, in the finest traditions of the French armed forces.
Ida now lives in Vichy France, a French puppet regime friendly to the Nazis. She knows it is only a matter of time before Jews are rounded up and killed. Marc still does not want to leave because he has unfinished paintings. What a fool!
An American with a weird name like a short order cook, Varian Fry, gets Marc and his wife visas to leave the country. Marc is more concerned for the safety of his paintings than for himself. Ida promises to take care of his paintings if he will just get the f out of France now.
Marc gets arrested by the Nazis but Fry gets them released. How? By threatening to have the New York Times write a nasty article about them. Really. No, I don't believe this either.
Marc and his wife finally get out of France and go to New York. Ida and Michel flee soon thereafter through Spain. They also bring along Marc's paintings in a giant crate. They almost have a problem getting through customs, so Ida opens her shirt and shows the customs officer her breasts. She lies and says her husband Michel is only her brother, and so she is available, and promises to let the customs official bone her if he lets them through. He does.
They soon board a ship going to America. On the ship ride to America some people get sick and die, but no one central to the story, so maybe you won't really care so much about them.
When they get to America Michel gets a job doing radio broadcasts to France with Radio Free America. We are constantly told that the job has very long hours which separates Michel from Ida. I have no idea why a radio job in New York would not have 9-5 hours, with separate shifts of workers, like any other job, but Michel acts like he is a baby delivering doctor who is on call all the time. There is no explanation for this.
When they finally get to New York Michel bones Ida again, but we are told that their movements are "practiced", even mechanical. Thrust thrust thrust. Squirt! Squirt! Squirt! Thrust thrust thrust. Squirt! Squirt! Squirt! There is no passion left in their marriage. Ida will have to find someone else (actually, several someone else's) to bone her.
Ida tells her friend Elsa that she plans to commit adultery. She needs a p_nis that is more exciting than Michel's. She thinks that Michel is such a pussy that he wouldn't even mind if he caught her being boned by another guy.
Ida starts flirting with a lot of men. She dances with them and allows them to squeeze her large breasts. Michel is working 24/7... at his radio job (still makes no sense) and isn't around to object. But one time he comes home to see her flirting with other guys and he notices that Ida no longer wears her wedding ring.
Ida meets a guy named Itzik (rhymes with "it's sick") who makes her nipples hard. Not making this up. She immediately invites him to bone her. He did. When Michel finds out about it, he tells Ida to "be careful". In other words, he doesn't mind being cuckolded as long as Ida is not public about it. Yes, Michel is a real pussy. What kind of man puts up with his wife committing adultery? Maybe he should go all the way and change his name to Michele.