Detailed plot synopsis reviews of The Bridal Chair |
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When Itzik moves on, Ida feels that her v_gina is still on fire and she needs someone else to spray out the flames.
Meanwhile, Ida's Mom Bella died. We aren't told why, but we are told that penicillin could have saved her. Did Ida's Mom have a venereal disease? Where could she have gotten that from? Hm....
Marc was sad when Bella died. But life must go on, and for the next 250 pages we are treated to details of one snobbish intellectual party after another. Ida realizes her Dad is very lonely and needs help. He's such a retard that he can't even feed himself.
So Ida hires a housekeeper named Virginia to take care of him. Virginia cooks for Marc, cleans for him, does his laundry... and does other routine chores, like letting Marc put his p_nis into her v_gina.
Click here to see the rest of this reviewVirginia is not only married, but she has a son named Jean, and often brings Jean along with her, so we can suppose that Jean gets to watch his Mom being boned by a man who is not exactly his father.
Ida soon realizes that her dad Marc is boning Virginia and has mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, she is happy her dad has a new sperm receptacle. On the other, she feels that Virginia is not her Mom and is intruding into her influence with her Dad.
Even though Virginia had a relationship with Marc, Ida still treated her as a servant. Like a concubine who also does the dishes, you know?
Ida tries to bond with Virginia. They have a nude lesbo scene in a hot tub. Think I'm making this up?
"You are so beautiful," Ida said admiringly. Gently, caressingly, she passed the sponge across Virginia's firm small breasts. "How does that feel?"s he asked. "Wonderful," said Virginia.
I mean, if that's not a lesbian moment, then what is?
So Marc, if you recall, disapproved of Ida having premarital sex with Michel. But he has absolutely no moral qualms about having sex with a non-Jewish married lady who has a child of her own. He even says that he is obeying the wishes of his dead wife by boning Virginia, heh heh. Maybe we missed the scene, right before she died, when she grabbed Marc and said, "Whatever you do, make sure you get some good sex with a non-Jewish married woman when I'm gone."
Ida notices that Virginia is "glowing". You know what that means! She's pregnant!
Ida asks if Virginia is going to tell Marc. She says she will later, once it's too late to get an abortion. She's much smarter than Ida was!
Ida, worried that this child might cut into her inheritance, goes to her father and demands some of his money. Really. That's the main thing on her mind.
When Marc finds out about the baby, he tells Virginia to get an abortion. Virginia says it is too late. Marc says it is never too late to get an abortion, heh heh heh.
Virginia refuses. When she is about to give birth Marc runs away. He is still haunted by the memory of having his face too close to his mother's v_gina when she gave birth to his sister and having it sprayed with her v_ginal blood.
When the child, David, is born, however, Marc is pleased. He insists again that his dead wife sent his mistress Virginia to him, that it's part of her plan to keep him happy with a sex partner. This disgusts Ida beyond belief.
The tip of David's p_nis is cut off in what I'm sure must be a very painful way. Marc says that makes him Jewish. But some Jewish people think otherwise because Virginia is not Jewish and David did not come out of a Jewish v_gina.
Ida, meanwhile, gets a new boyfriend, a painter named Gea. They paint together, in the nude, and then bone each other. Then they showered it off and boned each other again.
Marc and Virginia and Ida return to France after the war ends.
Marc gets prostate cancer. Doctors say he needs surgery, but Virginia says he merely needs to drink the right kind of tea to be cured, heh heh. Ida takes Marc to the doctor. Marc wants to know if cutting into his prostate, connected to his p_nis, will be painful. The doctor assures him he will greatly enjoy the surgery, heh heh heh. Marc gets the surgery.
When Marc's p_nis recovers, he takes it to Israel. Israel has just been created and their museum in Tel Aviv showcases Marc's work but their Museum is kind of a slum.
Suddenly, a guy name Franz appears out of nowhere and marries Ida. I almost forgot to tell you about the part where she divorces Michel, because it is mentioned so briefly in the story. Well, she does and replaces him with Franz.
Virginia complains that Marc does not show affection for her.
