Detailed plot synopsis reviews of The Chaperone
Now remember, this is the 1920's. Everything is different. Well, not everything. Can you believe that in the 1920's the New York City subway smelled of urine--just like today? Some things never change!
Cora goes back to the orphanage she originated in. She even finds the nun, Sister Delores, who cared for her as a child. Cora asks for information on her biological parents. Sister Delores says it's confidential, and Cora shouldn't want to know, because it is likely her real mother was a hooker. And, in second greatest line of this book, she calls Cora a "Homing pigeon for misery". Ha ha ha ha!
Anyway, when Sister Delores learns that Cora is no longer Catholic, but is now a Presbyterian, the Sister gives Cora the finger and tells her to get the f out of her sight. Not exactly those words, but you know what I mean.
Cora, refusing to give up, goes back the next day and tries to seduce the German janitor. The German janitor speaks English with a strong German accent, which is not surprising, since the German janitor is German. Cora asks for the confidential files on her parents. The German janitor asks if she will let him bone her if he helps her. Cora refuses, no boning, but then she breaks down and starts to cry. The German janitor agrees to help her, even though Cora will still not let him bone her.
Cora lets Louise take her to a concert. But it's a very upsetting one. First of all, there are black people in the audience and their presence upsets Cora. Secondly it's a jazz performance, and Cora believes jazz music hypnotizes young people and makes them want to have sex.
Back in Cora's past, Cora is a grown up orphan in Kansas. She has just married Alan Carlisle, the lawyer who helped her get money from the Kaufmanns. She hasn't yet found out that he is a homosexual so I will not yet reveal this fact to you. (Do not worry, I will not forget to reveal it later :-)
Before her wedding night, Cora got advice from Mrs. Lindquist, her latest stepmom of sorts. She told Cora that it was a wife's duty to sexually submit to her husband, heh heh. But she said that sex with a husband is the same as feeding horses and dogs. "You don't want to starve them. But they always want more than they need." These are my absolute favorite lines of this book.
Cora declines this advice, however, she doesn't want to starve Alan of healthy, heterosexual sex, which any heterosexual man would want aplenty. What could go wrong?
Cora had seen farm animals boning each other on the farm and so knew how to do it, but didn't know if she should lie still while being boned or whether she should wrap her legs around her husband.
But sex with Alan was not so great for Cora. It bored her, and he never went on long enough to satisfy her. She felt "oddly bereft every time he slumped over her with a quiet cry, and it was done."
But Cora was most concerned about getting pregnant. Every time Alan boned her during their boring sex sessions, she recalled how "What she needed from him for a child was already released inside her." Isn't that romantic?
Cora got pregnant quickly with twins. But when she gave birth, her v_gina malfunctioned and nearly exploded. The twins were born ok but the doctor said that due to her broken v_gina, she shouldn't have any more kids.
After giving birth, Cora's breasts felt heavy with milk and she felt like a cow. But she told Alan that she expected to be able to service his penis again soon. Alan, who is a closet homosexual, does not have sex with Cora ever again. Cora notices this. Alan claims that since it is not safe for Cora to get pregnant again, he can never again bone her. She can never again know the joy of having sperm squirted into her, the joy Alan experiences with a gay lover with a huge penis belonging to a very lusty homosexual man named Raymond.
Alan's lack of interest in sex puzzled Cora, who didn't know that Alan was being boned in the ass by Raymond. She wondered if Alan could bone her and then pull out before he spurted into her.
Then one day she came home at an unexpected time to find Alan's penis inside of Raymond's buttocks. This was not a place she had expected to find Alan's penis. Cora also noticed for the first time that Alan had very hairy nipples, which must excite Raymond tremendously. Cora got so upset that she ran out of the house.
When she returned she called Alan a sodomite and said that his ass-sex was disgusting.