Detailed plot synopsis reviews of The Girl Before
Edward tells Jane he wants to move in with her, even though he has only been boning her a short time. Jane agrees. This is totally ridiculous. In real life America, the man is never the one to insist on moving in with a girlfriend; and Jane agrees to it after they have been dating for a matter of only days or weeks. Nothing about the way these characters act is remotely realistic.
When Edward moves in, his obsessive compulsiveness is in full gear, as he orders Jane to put away her "toiletries". What the "f" is a toiletry? I guess it can mean soap or shampoo, but from the word toilet, it sounds like Jane leaves pieces of excrement on the bathroom floor. Maybe she should have better aim, heh heh.Click here to see the rest of this review
Edward compulsively has her arrange her spices and cups and plates as he likes him. No normal woman would put up with this nuttiness.
Then Jane tells Edward she doesn't like rough sex with him. She tells him she doesn't want to suck his dick or have his dick up her ass. I guess that leaves only one place left for Edward to put it into, heh heh heh.
Emma and Edward have rough sex. She likes it and she calls Edward Daddy. Emma fantasizes about being boned by her dad, heh heh.
Jane realizes she is pregnant! Blood no longer drips from her v_gina like it used to. Her nipples have gotten darker, and have little bumps on them! Either she has nipple mumps, or she's pregnant. Or maybe she does have nipple mumps.
Emma had claimed she was robbed in her home. Then, much later, when the sex video on the phone came out, she claimed she was forced to suck the robber's dick. Now more evidence came out to reveal that Emma was not in fact sucking on the robber's dick, but instead sucking the dick of a coworker named Saul. With this new evidence, Emma changes her story for the third time, saying that yes, it was Saul and not the robber whose dick she was sucking on, but that Saul got her drunk and pressured her into this. At this point, however, having changed her story so many times it's impossible to believe Emma. She likes to suck on dick, ok? That's all we know for sure.
The police are angry with Emma and are going to charge her with a crime. Not the crime of sucking on a man's dick; that's not a crime, that's a public service; but rather the crime of making false charges.
Back in the present, Jane meets with Saul who claimed he didn't force Emma to suck his dick, that Emma was into it. Jane is investigating Emma's murder (her boyfriend Simon did it--is it time yet to reveal that?).
Back in the past, Emma tells Edward all this nuttiness about the different versions of dick-sucking she has told the police. Edward has had enough of it almost as soon as Emma began and says he's not going to see her anymore. He realizes she's nutty and he wants no part of it.
Jane tells Edward she is pregnant. Mr. Perfect micromanages her spice rack but totally forgot to ask her if she was using birth control. How likely is that? Jane informs him she is keeping the baby. Soon she will swell up as large as a hot air balloon and start leaking white fluid from her tiny teats. And she will love every minute of it.
Then Simon kills Emma. They argue in her apartment, and he kills her by pushing her down the stairs. She's dead.
How easy is it to kill someone by pushing them down the stairs? We are told repeatedly in the story that the stairs in Emma's apartment are dangerous. But really, how deadly can stairs be? We're talking about stairs, not spikes in a tiger trap.