Detailed plot synopsis reviews of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo |
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But anyway they get divorced and Evelyn is fired from the studio and gets no acting jobs for a while. But on the other hand she has a lot of free time to munch on Celia's rug. Munch munch munch!
To restart her career, Evelyn agrees to appear topless in a French film. It works. She starts getting acting jobs again.
The press print rumors that Evelyn is munching on Celia's rug. This is bad for her career. So Evelyn seduces some guy named Mick Riva, persuades him to marry her, and then persuades him to get an annulment the next day. She does this by getting him drunk in Vegas, and the next morning being as unattractive as possible. Mick obediently suggests marriage the night before, and they do it, and then equally obediently suggests an annulment the next day. This whole chapter is simply too convenient to be true. No one can be manipulated so precisely as Mick was. The chapter is simply unbelievable, but anyway, Nick was husband #3, and Evelyn has now convinced the media that she is not a carpet muncher, for a while. Now she can continue to munch on Celia's rug without distraction.
Click here to see the rest of this reviewHowever, Evelyn finds out she's pregnant from the one time she let Mick bone her. This upsets Celia. She's being a bitch because Evelyn only let Mick sleep with her to convince the world that they weren't lesbians. But Celia doesn't see it that way and feels that letting a penis into Evelyn's lesbian vagina is worse than crossing union picket lines and Celia moves out. Evelyn gets very upset and probably wonders if she will be able to figure out how to use a dildo on herself like Celia does.
Harry her friend takes her to Tijuana where they murder her troublesome baby and suck it out of her. What are friends for?
Evelyn once again feels she has to marry a famous movie star to help her career. She makes a curious marriage with a guy named Rex North. They would get married but it would be a pretend marriage. Rex could bone all the women on the side he wanted to, but could never bone Evelyn. Why Evelyn would want this is clear, for her career. Why Rex would want this is never clearly explained. But anyway he agrees to it and he becomes husband #4.
It works for a while. But then Rex falls in love, for real, with a woman and actually wants to marry a woman he loves. So Evelyn agrees to divorce him, but to help him save face agrees to pretend that she was having an affair with her homosexual friend Harry. In fact Evelyn decides to marry Harry so both of them can both appear to the public not to be homos.
So Harry become pretend husband #5. Harry actually "loves" Evelyn, but not in the penis-vagina way. Celia got married to some guy named John and it turns out that John is homo too and Harry is boning him in the ass, so Celia's marriage is pretend as well.
There's a comical scene where Evelyn and Harry are pretending to kiss each other while reporters are watching, to convince them they are in love. Evelyn tells Harry to kiss her but to make it passionate, tells him to pretend in his mind that she is a man, heh heh. This is the funniest line in the book.
Harry tells Evelyn that he wants to have a child with her. This surprises Evelyn. Harry says that while he has no interest in sticking his dick in her vaj, much preferring ass-sex instead, he will grit his teeth and do it a few times in the interests of having a child.
