Detailed plot synopsis reviews of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo |
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Evelyn agrees. So the two homos have hetero sex to have a kid. How crazy is that?
Evelyn gives birth to a girl who they call Connor. Connor is a boy's name. Everything about this story is upside down. So Harry helps Evelyn raise Connor (who is a girl) while Harry gets boned in the ass by John, who is Celia's husband.
Then Celia and Evelyn, who haven't seen each other in a long time, have a hot lesbian makeout scene in a public toilet, and they reconcile.
So see if you can follow this: Evelyn is married to Harry. Celia is married to John. But in reality, Evelyn is munching Celia's carpet and Harry is getting boned in the ass by John. It's a very weird foursome.
Celia gets upset that she cannot impregnate Evelyn. She is a hardcore lesbian. But she grits her teeth and tolerates Harry boning her.
Click here to see the rest of this reviewEvelyn has to kickstart her career, so she makes another French film with an explicit nude sex scene that shows her having an orgasm.
This is too much for Celia. Having an explicit sex scene with a man on film is a betrayal for her, and she leaves Evelyn for a second time. What a bitch! Sorry, to be more accurate, what a lesbian bitch!
Evelyn, crying on her hands and knees, begs for permission to munch on Celia's carpet again. Celia refuses and kicks her out. How humiliating is that?
John, who had been boning Harry in the ass, died after a few years, leaving a "giant sized hole" in their lives--an ass-sized hole, heh heh. Who would Harry have sex with now? Certainly not his wife, heh heh.
Max, the frenchie who Evelyn made the two French films with, says he is in love with Evelyn and that she should marry him. He knows she is married to Harry but he knows that Harry is an ass pirate.
Evelyn believes for the first time that she is in love with a man so she agrees to divorce Harry and marry Max.
However, when they get married she realizes Max doesn't really love her, she is just a "trophy wife" to him, he loves the idea of having her around to show people but doesn't show affection to her, so she falls out of love with him.
Max finds love letters that Evelyn has written to Celia and is very upset to find that he has married a lesbian. Evelyn claims she is not a lesbian but Max says that if a woman has sex with a woman, guess what? She's a lesbian!
Evelyn hooks up with Celia again. Celia is dying of some heart thing. Evelyn munches her carpet. All those years of rug munching must have jammed tons of Celia's pubic hair between her teeth. Celia tells Evelyn to marry her brother Robert, so that when Celia dies, Evelyn can inherit Celia's money.
This makes no sense to me. When Celia dies, Robert might inherit, but Evelyn wouldn't. I guess... unless once Robert inherited, he turned over the money to Evelyn. This is never clearly explained but I guess is what happened.
So Evelyn divorces Max and has her last pretend marriage, this time to Robert, Celia's brother. Robert doesn't seem to mind this. Why? This is never convincingly explained.
Meanwhile, Harry has been letting some black guy bone him in the ass. Harry got drunk while driving and drove his car into a tree, killing his black ass boning friend. Evelyn rescues him from the scene of the crime and covers up his involvement in it, but Harry died shortly thereafter from his injuries.
Now, it turns out that the black guy who had been boning Harry in the ass was Monique's dad.
