Anonymous Message Board
Elleb? posts on 5/2/2015 11:59:51 AM
I'm never going to stop loving you. I couldn't if I wanted to. The only thing that is keeping me strong right now is the hope that one day I will see you again and maybe things will be like they once were. I'm not moving on. I can't and I don't want to. I still want everything I told you. I will never give up on you, on us. There hasn't been a second that has passed that I haven't thought about you. I will wait for the rest of my life if I have to, but it's you I want. I don't really know why, but I feel like I need to say this. I just have to say there is never going to be anyone else and that you are it. I love you.
Boynton posts on 5/2/2015 3:48:00 AM
Jack may have saved you,but I loved you first!!!!!!! You knew that,although you could not or chose not to tell me.I am sure you had your reasons....you always did! I still remember the first moment I laid eyes on you,and not until I met my wife,have I ever held a more exquisite head of hair in my hands.So you will know it's me,and I very much want you to know that especially now,so bad it hurts to the core,one night in the back seat of a friends' car after a concert we loved,you asked me what color your eyes were....and I absolutely want you to hear this NOW.I was in the process of kissing you in the most loving and passionate way when you asked....my brain was focused on your mouth intensely and I answered incorrectly although my brain knew the right answer.This is CRUCIAL.....because later in life I thought of you VERY VERY often because of course you were my FIRST LOVE!!!! I only wish I had known the history of your life....but those are a woman's secrets to lock away in her vault of a heart.The most stunning eyes of blue!!!!! You know this already,but yes I have carried those pictures with me throughout my life.Now I have the most important reason of all to lock them away forever.It's late now so I will end this here,but 2 last points....do you still have trouble sleeping?....I hope that has gotten better for you,lastly....I still remember your phone number from dialing it over and over for approximately 4 years....do you?Then as now,I wish you nothing but peace and happiness....oh and continued writing success,those cards were read with fond thoughts of you/us ALWAYS!!!!
Anonymous posts on 5/2/2015 2:31:27 AM
i dont know what to do the guy im with is in jail in a different state.... i made him a promise to him that i wouldnt end up leaving him like his exs did when he got arrested before but this is the first time i have ever been with someone who has gone to jail/prison this long..... i do love him but he did some messed up stuff to me in the past but i believe 2 wrongs dont make a right..... and leaving him now when he needs me the most makes me feel like a scumbag i dont know what to do...... do i stay with him till he gets out..... or should i just tell him that we need a break but still be there for support ughhhh please someone help me
Rad posts on 4/25/2015 7:07:15 PM
I'm pathetic, my little brother gets more pussy than me and I have literally zero self esteem
Susan posts on 4/25/2015 2:19:24 AM
I grew up as the youngest child with three older siblings. Two of them are from previous marriages from each parent, and one who is my biological brother, I guess you could say. There is a 6 year age gap between myself and the next sibling, 10 year age difference with the next one, and 15 years with the oldest one. The only memories I have of them are very few, and very negative. One of my brothers became a drug addict in high school, the other went off to the military right after graduation, and the oldest was living with her mom while I was growing up. No relationship ever developed, and I always felt like I was an only child. My mother was a neurotic mess, drank wine and popped aspirin all day long. She got enjoyment out of calling me "fatso," "spoiled brat," "disgusting," among other names. I remember her always telling people how much she had wished to have all boys. I ended up being the girl she really never wanted. She cherished my two older brothers, and hated my oldest half-sister from my father's previous marriage. From her actions, my brothers learned to treat me like dirt, were never normal brothers to me, called me the same names as my mom did, and she seemed to really enjoy this as well. I was close to my father, however. He was the only real family member I felt I ever had. He recently had a stroke, and is now partially incapacitated. Now that all siblings are visiting him, I had nearly forgotten about all the bad memories until this point where I am now having to associate with the two older brothers. I quickly learned how much of a mistake I made agreeing to have the oldest brother be power of attorney over dad's welfare. I was immediately locked out his house for a place to stay while visiting (it's a long trip for me to get there), told to stay out of any decisions, etc. I am shocked by their behavior towards me, but looking back, I shouldn't be - I just did not expect it to be the same after all these years. I also realize now how much of their behavior towards me stems from resentment and jealousy due to how much time and affection my father placed on me. It's hard to come to terms when you realize just how screwed up your family is and always was, and I am amazed that I came out of it in the shape that I have, considering how miserable my childhood was. My saving grace was my father, and now that he is incapacitated and not the same person, I feel like I am losing the only family member I ever had. He doesn't even remember me now most days. I guess I just wanted to vent somewhere. Thanks.
sarah posts on 4/18/2015 12:40:52 AM
We are everywhere and nowhere all at once,
all of us waiting for each other
When will we come around?
When will we see all we’re meant to be?
What life’s really about,
its meaning staring us in the face the whole time
When will we know our collective potential?
the power we have as one
The day we find that out
is the day this world changes forever
Mass evolution as we all aspire to simply live
and preserve the ground that hold us all
Faith posts on 4/15/2015 10:36:53 AM
I believe in our love even though you dont..I HAVE FAITH IN GOD!!!! AND I HAVE FAITH IN US!! I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU! AND I LONG TO BE IN YOUR LOVING ARMS! I LOVE YOU MY LOVE,ALWAYS HAVE ALWAYS WILL.. UP TO YOU TO DECIDE IF YOU WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE OR NOT.. YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME! GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS. ME.
spring.... posts on 4/12/2015 6:11:47 PM
Spring is a time of fresh starts and new beginnings. I thought this year would be different, you would be in my life once again, with us hopefully working towards a future. But that won't be the case. I'm tired of feeling as if you dont love me, as if I'm not important to you, of feeling as though you don't miss me, as though you don't want me in your life, you not wantingtosee ottalk to me. Your words just don't match your actions. Maybe just too much has happened. Maybe you just don't want me, us. For the first time ever, I feel hopeless. And that is a feeling I don't like. I'm prepared to go on with my life, alone. I lived without you before and I can do it again.
meyo posts on 4/10/2015 6:08:26 PM
i was kidnapped when i was a kid for about a week and a half, and i don't remember anything (smthng called dissociative amnesia). it took the subject randomly coming up in conversation -12 yrs after it happened- with my mom for me to even be aware that it did. i never went to therapy and shortly after this happened another life-changing event happened in my life so i don't think i ever had the time to really process things. i realized a few months ago i've always struggled with dissociation, anxiety and some depression. I'm feeling better, mostly by becoming aware of my symptoms, but i've never been to a therapist. i want to see one and are privileged enough to have insurance to afford it, but somehow even gathering the willpower to do so is difficult. it's taken me four months to just make a few phone calls to therapists, but they've either told me they can't take my insurance or don't pick up at all. But I will keep trying.....
even writing this made me dizzy
seekingafreshstart posts on 4/10/2015 5:54:28 AM
I am filing for bankruptcy today. I should feel the sense of relief all of the experts describe --no more garnishing my wages; no more harassing letters; no more letting my phone go to VM to dodge creditors. But all I feel is embarrassment. I got in this situation due to untreated mental illness and the stress made me worse. Now, I can focus on my health and happiness so why don't I feel the fresh start has started?
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