Betty Mahmoody Message Board

Keri posts on 6/22/2009 2:34:25 AM First off, I have to say that I have a degree in History and have thoroughly studied the religion of Islam. I definitely understand why Iranians and Muslims are offended by some of what Betty Mahmoody has written because it goes against the very principles of Islam. The things I am talking about are claims such as the one that Betty's Muslim relatives only showered once a year. I know that to be untrue because Islam places importance on cleanliness, especially when it comes to prayer. I do not know if the family she lived with was not following the basic principles, but based on what she wrote, I have to think that they probably were. I am thinking those type of claims might have been exagerrated. However, I fully and wholeheartedly believe that she was tricked into going to Iran. Dr. Mahmoody's accusation (in his documentary) that she flew out of Iran and made this up for the almighty dollar does not make sense. When she left Iran, she would have no idea if her story would even sell. And, to make it more unlikely, her daughter backs up her story about fleeing from Iran and refuses to have contact with her father. I hear alot of argument that Betty Mahmoody wrote this book to fuel American hate for Iranians and Muslims. I do believe that some of her claims are exaggerated and do paint Muslims in a bad light. However, I can understand her anger with Iranians, especially her husband and his family. Most of us cannot imagine what it is like to be held prisoner, against our will. Honestly, if none of the abuse happened, I would still side with her. It must be horrible to be ripped away from everything you know and be forced to stay in another country. People can argue all they like, but there were laws that prevent women from leaving the country without their husband's consent. As a mother, I cannot imagine that I would willingly move to a war zone with my children. I have to believe that some coaxing, bribery, or lying had to take place. The truth is that I have read the books, watched the movie, and seen Dr. Mahmoody's documentary. I think a big part of the problem was the cultural differences. Betty Mahmoody did not understand Islam or its principles. She didn't understand the Iranian culture. In Iran, they live differently than we do in the United States. There were probably events that Betty Mahmoody considered to be hateful or abusive that are normal parts of Iranian culture. Women in Iran do not have the same freedoms that we have here in the United States. To them, this is not considered abuse. It is considered the way of life. I hope everyone can remember that there are two sides to every story. The true story probably lies somewhere in the middle of the two accounts. I felt like both accounts are extremely biased, which is always the case. I just wish people would not use this situation as justification for hate because that does not accomplish anything. What Betty Mahmoody experienced was the fault of her husband and his family. The blame cannot be bestowed on all Muslims or Iranians.
Deb posts on 6/20/2009 3:21:40 PM I thank my lucky stars that I never married the Iranian man I was so totally in love with 30 years ago. this was a time when most of the Iranian men I knew were against the Shah. The Iranian women I knew were mostly in favor of the "capitalist regime". To my knowledge this Iranian man is still in the U.S., but I haven't heard from or about him in over 20 years. So I don't know if he returned when Khomeini came to power or not. I know one of his brothers returned to fight against the Shah. Anyway, throughout our long relationship, I allowed myself to be treated terribly... hitting, belittling, infidelities, etc. He never told me he loved me. It wasn't until I love was lost that I was able to separate myself from him. Then he was so willing to declare his love and want to get married. Fortunately, I didn't have the feelings for him. A few months, or years.(I can't remember which)I fell for an Afghan who spoke Farsi and had been an acquiantance of the first man. This guy's lack of respect and treatment made the first guy seem like a Romeo. He ended that relationship in a most cruel manner. I've not been the same since. I dated for several years afterward, but only white Americans. I have a definite mistrust of Middle Eastern men. I can no longer say that I am not a biased person.I remain a single woman to this day, unable to trust any man, and, for all intents and purposes, a spinster (although not in the traditionjal sense). My purpose for this post is to thank Betty Moody and the "Not Without My Daughter" filmakers and actors, particularly Sally Field, and Alfred Molina (he's so fine...even with 4 mechanical tentacles) for their exceptionally realistic portrayals of a strong, intelligent American woman and her religiously fanatical Muslim husband. Thanks are a phenomenal woman.I hope to hear you speak some day.
Tricia Caswell posts on 5/26/2009 3:06:32 PM I am an American woman who has 3 daugthers. My daughters went with their father to saudia arabia,this was only suposed to be for a few months its now been 7yrs. I lost contact because the father stopped answering my calls. In Nov. 2008 my daughter found me and told me of abuse and neglect.The police and human rights have pulled the girls out of the home and they are now in a protective shelter in saudi.I am trying to get help on getting them back here.If anyone has any info please contact me at PLEASE HELP!

James posts on 5/24/2009 9:21:19 AM Ive been living in Australia for 18 years now im in Iran, and planning to Escape
Mary Elizabeth posts on 5/14/2009 10:26:06 PM As an American I lived in Iran with my Iranian husband and my one year old Daughter in 1983. I left my American passport in Swiss and was in my husbands passport with mine and my daughters photos. No way could I get out without him, the San Francisco consulate issued this illegal passport. But I did not have the same issues as Betty, I was a blonde blue eyed Irish American 5'9 selling Cosmetic's and clothing I brought from American to shops in Theran and even Mashad. No bombs dropped in Therian and no police stopped me about my blonde hiar showing. I had an amazing time, so I feel that the story is a bit over the top. She must have not even known anything about the culture to freak out so much, that was her first mistake, telling her husband HE was Wrong. Well maybe I better write my own story. stay tuned. MEM.
Mary Beth posts on 5/12/2009 6:11:20 PM I read the book years ago, and loved the movie. I think it is important to try and see this from the writers point of view, as it was her experience. I don't think that she is intending to belittle people who live in Iran, as a matter of fact I think she shows thier devotion to Islam and respect of the of the rules their gov't has imposed quite well. But, in her experience her husband plotted, lied and cheated her of her right to make important decisions for her own life and the life of her daughter. I am so happy that she has told her story.
Mary posts on 4/26/2009 2:46:40 PM Karen, The movie from the husband's point of view is "Without My Daughter". You can purchase it from a website but it is a bit expensive. It has been posted on youtube, though, so you can watch it there as well. Good luck!
A. Ahmad posts on 4/25/2009 6:42:07 PM I have been married to a Pakistani citizen for 6 years. We now have a beautiful 1 year old daughter together. My husband is expecting to recieve his green card soon and immediately wants to return home to visit the family he hasn't seen in over 10 years. I am terrified that my future will mirror Betty's. I need help. How do I find the resources to protect myself and my daughter?
Oscar Barrón posts on 4/8/2009 6:21:13 PM To Karen Bennett. I guess the book and movie inspired by Moody (Betty's husband)is titled Not With My Daughter, but i am not really sure about that.
Nur posts on 4/6/2009 8:40:59 AM I am Nur, I am mother to one child, the child and I were '' trapped'' in an Islamic country for a number of years. It is not a good situation to find oneself in. If you as a woman are currently in this situation then you need to be very level-headed, timeous and strong for your children. Read as much as you can and do not be shy to seek advice from others, don't try to solve the problem alone... it's complicated and you need to be VERY patient.
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