Betty Mahmoody Message Board
marilynl posts on 3/20/2009 4:59:18 PM
I lived the life of an American woman married to a Muslim Arab. These days I try to see at the positive side of this relationship. But first the negative: I was given no power at all in my marriage, such as couldn't even choose my own clothes (but what he bought for me was beautiful and expensive!), could not discipline the children without being accused of being mean, he never discussed things with me, I was physically, emotionally and verbally abused and 'punished' often for not 'behaving,' ... this marriage ended in 1980. I filed cruel and inhumane treatment; he countered no fault, then fought me for eight years to keep the children and every worldly asset we had after 20 years of marriage. The man is mean, vindictive, controlling, could even be considered evil. BUT married to him, I traveled the world, lived well, raised my children in exotic places giving them a unique childhood, they speak both Arabic and English, they met interesting people, had private schooling, are distant relatives of the present Queen of Jordan (my two girls, just as beautiful), and basically there was a happiness until he forced me to give up my 4th pregnancy in 1977 (he already had his boy, wanted no more children).
Forced into a very sad life yet going through the motions of living, eventually I picked myself up, brushed myself off, went forward despite my great sadnesses, and I became the professional, educated, successful woman I am today, having succeeded in studying almost to the doctoral level. It was very, very difficult to get where I am….but I made it.
We need to remember to view life from an eagle's point of view rather than letting the details and horrible things that have happened to us get in the way of how we view life. Our children are always our children and there's always hope that one day the blinders will fall from their eyes if indeed they have been prejudiced against us without justification. Not all Muslim men necessarily teach their children to spit on their mothers after the divorce, but it is done. I had three children by him, all with Arabic names, and I guess I’m lucky that I hear from two on Mother’s Day; maybe at that moment, they remember back to their happy youth when Mom was hugging and loving them. The third one, a beautiful exotic looking girl of 41, is in my life everyday for which I am most thankful and says more than “Happy Mother‘s Day“ to me on a regular basis.
Samantha posts on 3/19/2009 8:03:22 PM
I just re-read 'Not Without My Daughter' last night and I must say that it doesn't matter when this happened, how much of this may have been exaggerated or whose point of view the tale is told from-if only a tenth of what was written actually transpired, Betty was more within her rights to leave and take her child with her. It is, simply put, that horrific an experience for anyone to have to endure. I mean, I left my husband for being mean vocally to me because as a woman in this century, that is my right. I actually hope that the story was exaggerated, because if all of that was actually said and done to her, I can't imagine how any human could find the will to make it through.
I am not racist, but I do believe that everybody has the right to free will. And I don't see how the story was created simply for propoganda, because there wera few Iranians within the novel who were portrayed in a wonderful light. I think she has been as objective as she could.
Does the U.S cause problems with the Middle East? Most certainly. But I'd hate to think of how the world would be if the Middle East had the power of the U.S...where would any of us be?
War between countries happens. Problems between spouses happen-but when you strip away somebody else's basic human rights-your story ought to be put out there so you can answer to the world.
Anna posts on 2/20/2009 11:29:06 PM
I have read your book and brought the movie and watch it to remind me how thankful I am for being a American Citizen. The pain you went through all in the name of love for your daughter as well.
I hurt for women who are in the same situation. And Pray that men who think they have that much power over a women need there heads examined. I will never understand a religon that give a man that kind of control all in the name of God. God is a god of love not torture. Control is a terrible thing, and it is here too in the good old USA.
I pray that you have found happiness and fulfillment with Mahtob, you deserve the best.
ginger posts on 2/14/2009 10:10:55 AM
I my God, what a world is this?
Leave this woman and child alone. Exaggerated or not. Leave them alone. Leave them alone. Leave them alone.
Anonymous posts on 2/11/2009 7:25:37 PM
Has anyone read reza's comments? Did you notice he has the same name as one of Moody's cousins? And is calling her a liar?
Cara posts on 2/9/2009 10:57:39 AM
Erica, if you want answers to all your questions, read Betty's book For The Love of a Child. It's hard to find though - I bought a used library version on ebay. She did not speak to Moody again, she got a divorce, and I believe Mahtob never spoke to him again, and he made no effort to contact her until she was adult, and then only for a movie he made called Without My Daughter, where he denied ever forcing his family to live in Iran.
Zack posts on 1/30/2009 1:32:14 PM
Hi. I am sad to see some people,especially other women questioning Betty's story. First of all, people can write whatever they want. This is a free country. THANK GOD. Second, there is a huge pattern of foreign men and women marrying Western men and women then trying to take the children, and any and all monetary assests. The patterns of abuse, and terror is not funny and it should not be swept under therug because of some political correctness muzzles or cries of "racism". absurd. Protecting women and children is more important than popularity. Thank God Betty had the guts to share her story and help others.
Erica in Los Angeles posts on 1/26/2009 11:15:47 PM
Hi Betty, don't know if you read this web posting, but i was watching "Not without my Daughter" over the weekend, and it left me with many more questions, i am an inquisitive individual. Did you ever speak to Moody again? i'm sure he had a few words to say to you, whether you listened or not, *not that you had to, what he did is in no way forgivable* but did you get a divorce from him? did he ever try to get custody of Mahtob? or even try to come back to the US? Did you ever find the humanity to forgive him? i would have hurt him seriously for what he did to me, but i know that people find the strength to forgive those who harm them. and did Mahtob ever get over this event, losing her father and having to endure those 18 months, how did she get on?
Your courage is just one of those human events that makes you see that people do overcome their situations and make it out in one piece, thank you for telling your story.
Suzy posts on 1/26/2009 1:59:11 AM
I just want to say Betty I believe all that happened to you without a doubt. From the depiction in the movie it seemed there were times when Moody knew what he was doing was not the right way to go.
We all have our regrets and I am sure he has his. He could have had a great life in America with "his" family not his parents family.
May life bring you and Mahtob happiness
reza posts on 1/19/2009 11:25:16 AM
Both you an I know the lies and the exaggeration you have put in your book just make a buck through the political turmoils between u.s. and Iran. My advise to you, as a writer or film maker or whatever else,BE HONEST BE HONEST BE HONEST
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