Betty Mahmoody Message Board
Susan posts on 2/16/2010 1:03:44 AM
I've listened for years as people disparaged Betty Mahmoody by claiming she embellished and even made up many of the details in her book, Not Without My Daughter, and even today it makes me angry.
I lived a similar version to her life right here in the United States after marrying an Iranian man while in my first year of college. I watched my husband change nearly overnight as he brought one family member after another to this country and our home. What I had believed was a loving relationship became toxic, emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive, and I was terrorized not only by my husband by his family as well. It was the most horrific experience of my life, and I still bear the emotional scars today. I was fortunate enough to escape with my 9-month-old son after my husband began to threaten to spirit him away from me and send him to live with his family in Iran.
I lived Betty Mahmoody's experience 14 years before it happened to her. Believe what you like. It happened to me too.
Matha posts on 2/2/2010 7:11:56 PM
I think Betty is an extraordinary woman who possess both the will and the courage to survive. I was sadden to read some of the comments suggesting that Betty "exaggerated" some of her experiences. Really???? People, this was HER experiences. If you have never been in this woman's shoes then you have no right to call her story, of her experiences, "exaggerations." There are good/bad people in every country and in every culture. I don't think it is respectful to call Betty's experience an exaggeration.
Lauren King posts on 1/11/2010 10:22:12 AM
I am a 22 year old from the UK. i have never been married or neither do i have children so i have no idea what some of you women must have gone through!! It's women like you that make me proud to be who I am, from listening to your stories it has made me learn to wise and appreicate how powerful women really are! I lived with a violent dad for years so i no how terrible it can be to witness someone treat your mum which such disrespect! the feelings never leave you but it has made me stronger esspecially my attitude towards men! I think betty mahmoody is an extrodinary women like all of you with similar stories!! I totally disagree with people who say she exaggarated her story...they obivously have no idea and wear rose tinted glass..don't judge if you haven't been there yourselves!!!!! I understand that not all men are like this so don't tie them to the same brush but that doesn't have to stop women telling there stories and changing the lives of so many women in similar situations!!
Sandra Berger posts on 1/8/2010 3:42:51 PM
We are going to read the book Not Without My Daughter in book Club. Do you offer any questions & answers that would be benifical for discussion?
prakash misal posts on 1/8/2010 4:03:08 AM
Hi Mam, I could not imagine that any one can actually go through such a horrific & terrifying situation as u & ur daughter Maahtob have gone through after reading " Not Without My Daughter." I beleive only a mother can do this & no one else. I salute u & ur daughter.I also thank u for creating such a wonderful literature.
Rose posts on 12/21/2009 3:57:29 PM
Michelle Mc, you were a very courageous woman! I read your story with awe. What some of you mothers have been through is just so horrific. No one can stand a chance against a mother's love, I think.
Michelle Mc posts on 12/21/2009 2:18:32 PM
I have lived through this very similar situation where my exhusband kidnapped my son by taking him out of daycare center when I was in school.My exhusband was Canadian, and he moved to the US with me.He was abusive, and I spent 2 weeks in a shelter with my son when he was very young.Like many abused women I went back to him thinking after he went into alcohol treatment and couseling that he had changed.He didn't and I came to terms with divorse was our only answer. I thought we came to an agreement that we would raise our son with joint custody once divorced but he went back to Montreal for a visit and planned the whole kidnapping when home. I had no idea that when I dropped my son off at the daycare that I wouldn't see him for several months until my brothers and I went up to get him back. Luckily I had an attorney that told me not to file for divorse until I had physical custody of my son because of the across borders issue. I hired a private investigator and tracked him down and I retrieved my son in a car in a parking lot while my ex's sister went in the store. It was traumatic for all of us (me,my son, and my brothers). I filed for divorse once I had physical custody of him, I lived out of my car, we moved from home to home never staying anywhere for a long time because my ex called my mother and said he was going to shoot all of us. I lived in fear many years, always looking in my rear view mirrow watching, thinking he was going to kill me. It has been over 25 years now, my son is an adult and I have always told him the truth. My exhusband contacted my father 2 years ago and asked about both of us, but my father went to his grave never telling me about the phone call. I was told by my sister that my son't biological father called and left a message. I decided it was not up to me to keep this from my son, so I told him. Prior to telling my son I contacted my ex, and we talked - I could barely understand him because he speaks French. He asked for my son't number but I told him it was up to my son if he wanted to contact him. My son now email's him, but as of yet has no desire to meet him. During one of his emails to my son he used the F work in every sentence to my son. So he still shows an abusive personality which concerns me about my son meeting him. The one good thing to come from this is my son is in contact with a half sister who also was raised by her mother for the same reason - abuse.
My son has since expressed his gratitude that I have raised him because he feels that I imparted education as a very important facet in his life. When he contacted his biological father he was told that he shouldn't be going to college after his time in the Navy, but he should use his hands to make a living. My son has almost a genious IQ.
Martha posts on 12/13/2009 8:43:25 PM
The diference with abusive husbands that are not Muslims is that in their countries there are Laws that protect women. In Muslims that is not the case also if the father dies the children belong to the husbands family,they have the right to beat, sell, kill their women,marry them at 8,circumsize them. I lived in Iran and I saw how women are treated. Usually a man can seem to br more assimilated outside their Muslim country but when then go back they show their real values. Women are less than plants and no Laws that protect them, they just married in Gaza 450 little girls with adult men
Claudia Smith posts on 11/27/2009 9:21:39 PM
I am in Michigan and I love to watch the show Not With Out my daughter. I really have a lot of respect for what her and her daughter went through. The man was so wrong for what he did in taking his family to a place where she did not want to be in the first place to the point that he lies to keep her there.
mary steinert posts on 11/26/2009 12:24:06 AM
I am reading your book for the 27th time: everytime I become discouraged, for whatever reason, I turn to Not Without My Daughter. I have bought and given away countless copys, you, and your daughter are of endless inspiration to me, and here, on Thanksgivibg Eve, I want to thank you, for giving me, and the world, your story, your HOPE, and your resilience. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!!!! My Love, Mars
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