Harry Sawyer is in jail for bank robbery and forgery and Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr., aka Dave, is in for auto theft. While working on a highway litter control detail, they get into a fight with Bob, who's serving time for murder. For discipline, the three cons are sent back for solitary confinement, but the van carrying them overturns and the driver is knocked out. The cons escape with Bob going one way and Harry and Wayne going another. Wayne and Harry steal an RV owned by two gay men who are beauty pageant trainers. A local sheriff named Chappy comes across them when the RV dies and immediately takes them to be the beauty pageant trainers everyone is expecting back home in Happy, Texas.
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Harry and Wayne find themselves getting a red carpet treatment from the town people, who are really excited and full of hope that their “expertise” will finally help the pageant girls' team win. Harry gets the bright notion to rob the town's bank, so he starts casing it and chatting up the banker, Josephine “Joe” McClintock, leaving the pageant training to Wayne Wayne. Faced with several expectant little girls and their eager-to-please lay instructor, Doreen Schaefer, Wayne Wayne nearly has a nervous breakdown until he starts playing pageant tapes he finds in the RV. Inspired, he uses the tapes to come up with routines for the girls, which turn out to be not bad, and finds an unexpected spark igniting between him and Doreen. Meanwhile, Harry and Joe sense an attraction to each other. These personal bonds naturally complicate things and the convicts have second thoughts about carrying out the robbery. Then the third escaped con, Bob, shows up, and he complicates things even more by wanting a piece of the action. When pageant day arrives, it's also the day of the planned bank robbery, and Harry and Wayne must either carry out the heist with Bob or give themselves up.