Martin Sheen and Lindsay Lohan, both as themselves, have a crazy sexy romp in a room full of his sex tapes and cameras which he tells her is his first time. They do acrobatics in bed and are joined under the sheets by midgets and a pony. Martin Sheen is lifted off the bed by an invisible power and thrown into the wall. Lindsay Lohan turns into a monster killing him. Lindsay Lohan is arrested for the disappearance of Martin Sheen's three kids.
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Snoop Dogg and his buddy go into the woods to raid a pot farm. They are chased away. They take refuge in a cabin in the woods that has three monster children that are Charlie Sheen's children. Charlie's brother, Dan (played by Simon Rex), comes with his wife, Jody (played by Ashley Tisdale) to adopt the kids from the hospital that is kepeiong them. The doctor makes them agree to live in an experimental house that is under video surveillance in order to take the kids. They have no idea how to take care of them and do terrible thing like set the baby's head on fire by accident.
Dan works at a primate lab teaching chimpanzees while his wife stays home practicing to be in a punk band. The electricity goes haywire in the house and the kids get more creepy. Jody goes back to the ballet and tries out for the role of the Swan Queen in reference the film “Black Swan.” The house has a black-dressed ghost woman that constantly passes by the open doors in the background. Maria the maid (played by Lidia Porto) tries to convince them to get psychic help to rid the house of evil spirits. Dan puts more video cameras in the house, falls, and ends up in the hospital. Jody hears the little girls playing with their dead mom in their room. She goes in to investigate. The girls tell her not to go into the closet, but Jody goes in anyway and finds Maria sitting on the toilet. Maria farts exploding off the toilet knocking Jody across the room. Morgan Freeman narrates, adding his comment that the smell is so awful he has to leave the room.
Jody gets the part as the Swan Queen, but she is tormented by the dead mother of the little girls that haunts the house. A time lapse shows the house at night with Maria hitting a Piñata. They awake to discover poltergeist activity in the kitchen. They call in a psychic who rips them off. The pool-sweeping equipment comes to life and throws a back-yard party of other pool cleaning gear. Dan fires Maria and they have a physical fight in the front yard. She follows him to work continuing the fight which causes all the apes to escape from the lab.
Jody calls a guy to help her extract the dreams of the little girl to figure out what is going on. They use a device to do shared dreaming like the film “Inception.” They have a bunch of perverted shared dreams then they have a frightening one about the dead mother. Jody figures out the secret to the dead mother is in the basement in the "Cabin in the Woods". Dan brings home Caesar the ape. Jody goes out for a party and gets high having a lesbian affair with a ballet dancer who wants to steal her position in the ballet. They go to the cabin in the woods to look for the evil book and find a bunch of bible lovers. They find the evil book in the basement and every time they say four words it turns the four people upstairs into monsters. They leave the cabin without noticing the effect of the magic. The ape figures it out but they throw him out of the house. Jody is pushed down the stairs. Dan gets attacked by Ghost Mama's wig. They go to the cliff where Ghost Mama wants to throw the children off. Jody defeats the evil mama and saves the day.
Best part of story, including ending:
This movie is both a parody of scary movies and also includes many comedic references from other popular movies which are amusing.
Best scene in story:
When the maid Maria farts and blows herself off the toilet. Fart jokes still are funny.
Opinion about the main character:
The main character seems likeable and out of control at the same time. It's an odd combination but this is an odd movie as well.