In a memoir which refuses to be pinned down, Lauren Slater attempts to explain her mother and her past through events which may or may not be true. Lauren Slater is a liar. The first chapter of this book is only two words. "I exaggerate." It is important to keep this in mind while reading the book. Throughout the memoir Slater discusses her childhood, and her struggle with epilepsy. Her first seizure was when she was ten, and from there she grew into a disease she both loved and hated. The debilitating seizures often came with beautiful hallucinations, and the disease brought her much attention from her classmates, her parents, and her doctor. Of course, the illness had to be treated, and at a young age Lauren had to go to a camp where she learned how to fall. She also struggled with medications, her infatuation with her doctor, and eventually a surgery to sever the two sides of her brain and prevent the seizures from ever happening. The treatment is even more complicated by Lauren's mother, a complex and self-obsessed woman who is too proud and controlling to help her daughter get proper care. Lauren herself often turns to thievery in an attempt to replicate the sort of home life which she lacks, and even after the surgery she craves the attention once brought by her illness. The book follows her as she grows as a writer, attends a writing conference, and has an affair with an older author. They break up once she starts college, and her depression deepens as she finds herself unable to fit in with her classmates. She turns to attending AA meetings, despite not being an alcoholic. She is able to convince the other members of her alcoholism, and through them finds acceptance and help. In the end, however, when she tries to confess to her lie, none of them believe her.
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However, Lauren Slater does not have epilepsy. Rather, her complicated family life left her a compulsive liar who would fake illness in order to gain attention from doctors and her parents. It is difficult, beyond the epilepsy, to determine which parts of the narrative are true and which are fictional, but the heart of this book is examining Slater's relationship with her mother. Slater uses the epilepsy as a metaphor to explain their tumultuous relationship and the desperation that led her to something similar to Munchhausen's syndrome. Slater herself claims that ninety-nine percent of what she tells the reader is accurate, but she leaves it to us to figure out what is true and what is fiction in this slippery memoir.
Best part of story, including ending:
The central conceit is good- ie, explain compulsive lying by lying to the audience. That being said, the book is somewhat frustrating to read. Slater admits from the beginning that she is a liar, but there is no particular point in the book where she explains what is a lie and what is true (many readers reach the end thinking that Slater really does have epilepsy) and it's difficult to draw the line between fact and fiction in this book. The book is beautifully written, and Slater's prose is lovely to read. She insists that the book is mostly truth explored with a few lies, and it's certainly a fascinating read, but this level of confusion can be a bit frustrating for people who rely on the "non-fiction" label on the bookshelf.
Best scene in story:
There is a scene in which Slater attends a funeral with her parents, has a seizure, and falls into one of the graves. Except as soon as the scene is over she admits that is never happened, that she was at the funeral and merely imagined herself falling into one of the graves. She thought about how she could fall eight feet and survive uninjured, about how the body can bend to survive that kind of fall and so on. This is one of the few scenes where Slater fully admits to her deception, and she discusses how what she imagines is such a good indication of her mental state and how she's feeling. This is the scene that made me really understand this book, and where Slater is coming from when she's writing it. It's a beautiful scene which represents the rest of the book without hitting the reader over the head with any overall moral of the story.
Opinion about the main character:
Lauren Slater is extremely easy to relate to, which is difficult to do in a book relating to mental illness. Her descriptions of her childhood dramas and family issues truly make the reader understand why these things were significant and how they could have led to her problems later in life. She's a liar and a thief and a bit melodramatic and over the top, but most people were as children and it really doesn't distract from the story. Slater herself is a psychologist, and she makes the psychology behind her own mental issues very readable and easy to understand.
