Detailed plot synopsis reviews of She's Come Undone |
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So Dolores tells her mother she will not go to college. Her Mother gets so upset that she dies in a traffic accident and we are led to believe she killed herself because Dolores was such a depressing bitch.
Then Dolores changes her mind and agrees to go to college. Grandma, realizing that her Mom killed herself because Dolores would not go to college, says that Dolores is a real bitch. I like Grandma.
Dolores goes to say goodbye to her guidance counselor Mr. Pucci before she goes to college. She discovers Mr. Pucci is being boned in the ass by a man named Gary. She says she doesn't mind if Mr. Pucci is a homo. Mr. Pucci says he doesn't like being called a homo. He calls Gary his roommate. So, to be clear, later in the book Pucci catches AIDS from his ROOMMATE, not his HOMOSEXUAL LOVER.
Click here to see the rest of this reviewDolores exchanges letters with her soon to be college roommate Kippy. They exchange warm letters. But when Kippy meets Dolores and sees how fat she is, she says that Dolores pretended to be someone else (a normal sized person) and she wants nothing to do with Dolores. This is totally unrealistic. Girls are not mean to other girls simply because they are fat. Not in college. This isn't third grade. This isn't realistic.
Anyway, Kippy calls Dolores a hippo, heh heh.
Dolores makes friends with a fat lesbian janitor named Dottie. But Dottie wants to be more than just friends. She wants to munch on Dolores's carpet, if you know what I mean. She kissed Dolores once while dancing with her and this scares Dolores and she stays the f away from Dottie because she doesn't want her carpet munched by any fat lesbian.
Kippy breaks her collarbone. She starts being nice to Dolores so Dolores will become her slave, running errands for her. Dolores isn't sure if Kippy is sincere or not. Maybe if everyone broke their collarbones they would be nice to fat people.
Kippy gets letters from a boyfriend named Dante. Dolores intercepts all of them, reads them, and doesn't show them to Kippy. Dolores thinks Dante is so nice that Kippy doesn't deserve her. One time Dante sends some nude photos of himself. Dolores enjoys looking at his p_nis, repeatedly looking at the photos and masturbating.
Dottie wants Dolores to meet her in a utility closet so they can munch on each other's carpets. Dolores refuses to go.
At a party a guy named Eric tries to bone Dolores. He rubbed his crotch against her v_gina. Dolores kneed him in the groin and ran away, screaming. She was so traumatized that she ran into the arms of Dottie the fat lesbian.
Within five minutes Dottie has their clothes off and she is munching Dolores's rug. She instructs Dolores on how to rub her v_gina.
But Dolores didn't enjoy the lesbian sex. When they were done Dolores poisoned Dottie's pet goldfish and ran off.
Dolores, upset about Eric trying to bone her and Dottie munching on her carpet, ran away to Cape Cod. She bonds with a taxi driver but it is so boring I am not going to relate it here. When she gets there she sees a fat whale dying on the beach. The fat whale reminds her of herself. I guess fat people identify with fat animals.
Then the police come and scoop her up with a net and take her to a mental hospital.
Heh heh heh.
Later on we are told she went to Cape Cod to kill herself. Perhaps she was going to lie under the thrashing whale and let it kill her with its massive blubber, heh heh heh.
Anyway, Dolores spends the next 7 years in an insane asylum. How crazy is that? Heh heh.
They inject Dolores with mind control drugs to empty all the twinkies from her brain. She repeatedly tried to eat her hand until she is doped up.
Dolores started to lose weight. A lot of it. You see, all a person has to do to lose weight is be locked up in a mental hospital where they limit what you can eat! It's dopey because Dolores attributes her weight loss to her self control, but self-control had nothing to do with it--she simply can't eat 24/7 like she used to.
