Anonymous Message Board
Waiting_in_vain posts on 6/1/2016 7:12:10 AM
It's been 2 years since you went away. I thought my heart would have healed by now and that my memories and thoughts of you would fade away gradually. But it hasn't. I subscribed to the notion that time heals a broken heart, but I'm still waiting for time to erase you from my thoughts. Loving you has been the most humbling experience of my life. You never promised that you would stay and made it very clear that our time would run out. I thought I was strong enough to walk away and get over you when our time was up. I've cried, begged and prayed for peace, for closure, and for my memories of you, of us, to fade away. It's been 2 years and time has not lived up to its promise. This emptiness inside has turned my world flat and gray. The colors that you brought into my life have left with you. Life's distractions only bring momentary relief; the brief splashes of colors quickly vanish when thoughts of you cross my mind. When will all this fade away? When will the colors come back? When will you come back?
Black sheep posts on 5/30/2016 4:13:52 PM
No matter what I do for my family, it's never good enough. I am at the point now that I don't want anything to do with any of them. For most of my life (I'm 43) I've been trying to be accepted by my family and blaming myself when it doesn't happen (again). This way of thinking has affected all of my relationships because I always thought that If my family won't accept me, how can anyone else. This had led to a very lonely life! After years and years of trying to be "good enough" I started to distance myself from those situations. Between the distance and some counseling it has really made a difference. I'm still not where I want to be, but I'm getting there! Sometimes I miss my family, but I don't miss being put down all of the time. So I'm writing this as a release and to remind myself of how far I've come, but also and maybe more important I hope that people can read this and be encouraged to look to the future instead of being stuck in the past. Families don't have to be blood, they just need to be people that love and support you no matter what!
Shirley Schauer posts on 5/24/2016 3:32:48 PM
There's nothing better than finding out that you won't be able to afford to go to college.
Anon17 posts on 5/10/2016 4:18:50 PM
I used to love this girl, and my best-friend did to. I however managed to get her, but I screwed it up and she dumped me. Now my best-friend is dating her.Recently he has sent me pictures of them having sex ,and flaunts it at me constantly. She's started in on it as well. It makes me wonder if she ever even loved me to begin with or that if I deserve it or not.
abb839 posts on 5/5/2016 8:41:52 AM
There are days like this where all I want to do is dig a hole and throw myself into. Sometimes I think why do I make the effort to do something when I know the end result always end in failure. Why do I put myself out there when there is nothing in return. There are so much that I can keep down but on the surface, it's all happy go lucky.
cs17 posts on 4/29/2016 9:39:23 PM
I want to write this anonymously to get it out there as I feel it won't be real if it's just floating around in my head.
I certainly feel that I have done nothing but underachieved in my life. Some of it has come down to some bad luck, most of it has been my fault. I never seem to get out of my own way and get out of my own head when I need to.
I feel very fortunate to be blessed with a reasonable family and a relatively understanding woman. I've went back to school for something that I have wanted to do for a long time.
I was born with a variety of medical issues. As a result of these issues, and me being me, I think things are starting to catch up with me.
I really do hope that I get the opportunity to live a long life in reasonable health with my mental faculties intact. I really wish to use the education that I have received (and will continue to receive) to help benefit the lives of individuals I come into contact with.
Going forward, I wish to be honest, humble, less judgemental, attentive, and patient. I will write these values down and make them goals I wish to achieve.
I feel depressed, down, and really want the opportunity to turn my life around so I can be a positive force in the world. If I'm luck; God willing, I will.
Rinkoru posts on 4/16/2016 6:16:10 PM
Ever heard "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri?
When I was little, my mom always sang this song to me. We saw it as our song, and with it, she'd always remind me that she loved me for a thousand years and would love me for a thousand more.
She had a drinking problem, but only because she needed to numb the excruciating back pain she always had.
I knew that. But sometimes I'd come home and she'd be passed out, and I'd have to be the "mom" for my brothers.
This landed me into foster care by myself. My brothers were sent together somewhere else. And every time I heard this song, I heard her voice calling out to me, telling me to hold on for a bit longer.
"One step closer."
For both of us, I knew, every time we heard the song, we cried.
Eventually, her custody over me was taken from her. I grew up. Matured. Realized that even though time and time again she'd say she loved me, she'd hurt me emotionally and physically enough for me not to believe it.
By the time we saw each other again, I was cold and angry to her, but she was all smiles and open-armed like nothing happened.
Like she'd never done anything wrong.
floating log posts on 4/11/2016 6:05:21 AM
I am so alone.
I am craving human contact.
Everywhere I look is couples and families and happy people rubbing it in my face.
IncarnateOfPassion posts on 4/6/2016 1:45:44 PM
I don't feel emotions as readily as others might, due to moderate autism. I'm feeling what I think is love. It is like hot, rough and chaotic. It sets my heart ablaze and wracks me with pain. I want more. Although it feels like my chest is filled with molten iron, I want that sensation more than anything.
Rinkoru posts on 3/31/2016 1:07:30 PM
I feel like everyone either expects too much or too little of me, and I'm trapped in a cage of other people's expectations.
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